From the day we are born, women are given glasses with tunnel vision that makes them believe their body/life is only worth something if they use it to produce a child or are dedicated to a man.
As little girls, we are told stories of "and they live happily ever after" fairy tales. There are no stories where she is happy living alone and successful. Little girls are given baby dolls to play with, to enhance the nurturing side of a woman. We aren't given toys that encourage traveling globally, making money, or even having a place in a political office.
As young women, we have the prom to look forward to at the end of our final years of high school. These days, prom night is glorified and a bigger holiday than Christmas. I love it! Especially how many have made big productions of being asked to the prom; and showcasing fashion. It's almost like going to a wedding. But what do the rest of the girls get who opt out of prom? Or didn't get invited? Granted, I would have never gone to prom because I was raised in a cult. But I didn't want to go. I would have preferred to spend all of my time, energy, and money on going on an elaborate class trip to somewhere amazing.
Once you're of marrying age, society praises you with weddings, engagement parties, bridal showers, lingerie parties, baby showers, and tax breaks. Lately, I have been seeing parking spaces reserved for pregnant women and families. But what about women who would prefer to live independently; those of us who prefer to use their life/body for whatever they choose outside of dedicating their life/body to a man or child for the rest of their life?
I remember a friend of mine who had a baby at 16. She received free housing, a car, food stamps, free education at a university, and free healthcare because she had a kid. But as a woman who dreamt of being self-employed all her life, I got ZILCH. Any kind of government assistance I wanted, I needed to apply for, and it didn't mean I would get it. However, I had the choice to get pregnant and receive all the benefits I want. To say that I am bitter about the unfair treatment is an understatement.
Don't get me wrong, I think having a baby and marriage is a beautiful thing. I LOVE other people's babies. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE to celebrate at weddings. They are my favorite events to perform. But it is exhausting to not only be overlooked by society, but also scrutinized for putting myself first. When the fourth video about 'the dangers of plastic surgery' popped up on my algorithm in one day, it infuriated me. It was a 'mommy makeover' video.
After this woman selflessly grew, nursed, and pushed out three babies, she wanted to get a mommy makeover. Her body went through hell, and she wanted to look like her old self again. But her husband was worried about the risk of plastic surgery, though he was 100% supportive about risking her life in labor...THREE TIMES. She eventually decided against the surgery after her family convinced her that she was being vain, worrying about her looks. And "as long as her husband is happy with her body, she should be happy too." Fam, I wanted to throw my glass at the television. But I didn't want to waste my wine. That would be alcohol abuse. LOL.
My Fellow Female Foxies, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG with dedicating your life to Breeding, Business, Beauty, or just Being. Though we are subconsciously wired to think otherwise, we have options. And my wish is for all of us to love ourselves for who we want to be. For reasons I mentioned before, it's understandable to see why it's hard to believe. And trust me, as a cult survivor who was brainwashed, I know how hard it is to live a life that goes against the grain. But it is within all of us to do it. Stay true to yourself. And Stay Foxy!
Your Teacher, Student, and Friend
Moxie
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