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I was Literally in the middle of a business meeting, discussing adding new songs to our repertoire when I heard the news. only a few moments earleir I mentioned adding Tina Turner to the playlist. Sasha looked at his phone, and turned the screen towards Vika. Bewilderment struck her face. I was sitting across the table from the both of them . "What!Whats wrong? Who died??!" I said. He turned the screen to me. The headline read "Tina Turner dead at the age of 83." I froze.

When I escaped the cult, I adopted several Artists as family members: Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Steven Tyler, and Tina Turner. I was lonely and desperate for family, drowning in my dying need to be understood. Through these particular legends´ music, lyrics, and personal history...I felt connected to them. I spoke to them constantly in my head. It sounds ridiculous. But youll be surprise what straws you grasp at when you´re alone in the world. But thats another blog, for another time.

Growing up, my parents LOVED Tina Turner. But not me. I liked a couple of her songs, "We dont need another hero" and "Private Dancer", Besides that, she was just another singer. My true appreciation didnt grow for her, until "Whats Love Got To Do With It", the movie. Angela Bassett transformed into Tina Turner, like NO OTHER actress could possibly accomplish. The stories I heard about Tina´s past was no longer painted with broad strokes. The movie illustrated in graphic, horrific detail about her journey from Tragedy to Triumph. Abandon by her mother, rape, domestic abuse, her love for rock...starting her life over, after spending most of it following someone elses dream, leaving America for a better life....OMGoddess, I related to all of it. From that point, I idolized her. She became my muse.

"Simply the Best" is her most popular song in Russia. And i have performed it many times. They cant get enough of it. But one of my most fave is "Whats Love got to Do with it."

Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken." OUff!!! Those are some lyrics that we can relate to feeling. Pain so heavy, so deep that we´d prefer to not have a heart at all!!! As you know, thats the song i am performing in this video.

I had to take a day away from social media to process the lost. I knew i was being tagged by friends about her passing. Every other post is about her death. Yes, I took the news that hard. When Whitney Houston passed, I was ashamed to admit my feelings. I felt i was being a bit dramatic about the passing of a "stranger". But as we mourn the passing of yet another Strong, Black, Female Goat....I do not shy away from my sadness. Thank you Tina!!! For your inspiration, for sharing your pain...for teaching me it´s never too late to start over, for showing it´s okay to leave your family and your country for the sake of your mental health. You will live forever in the history of Music. Job well done. Rest.

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