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Anger and Fear....Frienemies??


How can anyone believe "People speak the truth when they are angry, because they have little self control at the moment." But that line of reasoning can be applied to any emotion.

I know I have personally made irrational decisions when I was happy, hungry, in love, horny, angry, depressed, yes AND angry....

"Anger helps you cope with the stress by first discharging the tension in your body, and by doing so it calms your “nerves.” That's why you may have an angry reaction and then feel calm afterward" (Goodtherapy.org). In other words, saying things in anger is a normal, even healthy. Of course, just like the rest of emotions, anger can be damaging when it is out of control.

Another emotion that gets a bad rap is FEAR. It´s accused of keeping people from following their heart. It´s the scapegoat for bad decisions and arrested development. In reality, fear is simply a signal of possible upcoming danger. It warns us not to cross the street, without looking both ways. It is US who decides if we will listen. Fear only warns us that we can break our leg, if we jump off the building. That is our cue to take actions to create a safe jump; or dont jump at all. I have made friends with my fear. Whenever I feel it, I try to find the origin of it. In my case, most of my fears originate from past trauma. When I am triggered, my fear can overwhelm me at times.

I have learned to pause, take deep breaths, think logically. After assessing the situation, and taking into consideration as to why I feel fear...I decide my next step. My fear is a tool, not a decision maker. It is my assistant. Not my judge and jury.

The Art of controlling, understanding, and using our emotions should be taught in school. Having the education would help us cope better, as well as get to know ourselves. It will eliminate the perception of seeing any of our emotions, in turn...seeing as part of OURSELVES a bad.

Our anger and fear does not need to be deleted. It needs to be understood.

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