On social media, I appear to be a Social Butterfly đŚ. But in reality, I am a loner. After my shows, once the saw dust and glitter is swept away; the band has gone home; and the spotlight is shut off... I go home to myself. When I escaped the cult, I had No idea how to interact with the rest of the world. I had no friends nor family. The cult was my family and friends. However, I learned how to pretend to be happy and sociable. But When people try to draw closer to me, I retreat. I felt if they really knew the real me, they would leave me like everyone that I have ever loved. When I revealed to my family and friends that I was no longer in the cult...they LITERALLY cut me out of their life that Very day. I showed them the real me.. and they left me Forever.No longer loved me. I was so traumatized, I didnât dare to let anyone close to me ever again. Donât misunderstand me. I am still authentic. What you see is what you get. But thereâs a wall that has been meticulously built to keep people from TRULY getting to know me. Fast forward to today, I am ready for more meaningful relationships... But no one is there. My social and sex life is DEAD. FLATLINED. GHOST. So one of my goals for 2020 is to breathe life into my Life. It is going to be tough to change, Because I have grown dangerously comfortable with being solo. Wish me luck, my friends. đđžđ¤đžâď¸