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The Soft Black Woman

Updated: Jan 6





Blessings and Fortunes, Moxie´s Foxies!! A new year has arrived, and I cant be more excited!! Last year was not one of my best. But I am thankful for the lessons I can carry from it and make this year even better.

I struggled to figure out what I wanted on my resolution list this year. I feel as if time has stood still since the pandemic, that i have been playing catch up. Not to mention the major life adjustments brought on from the Russia/Ukrainian conflict. It forced me into mini-mental-depressions throughout the year. My life was turned upside down. There was absolutely no time to adjust with all of the changes that hit at once (exiting of big brands, SWIFT, and airlines to mention a few..). Fifteen pounds gained, and one year later my resolution list remained practically untouched. Taking into consideration the tribulations Ive endured the past few years, I was able to come up with a suitable resolution for 2023: Lean into being a Soft Black Woman.


“For many Black women it is a challenge to move past always being the responsible one, always sacrificing their enjoyment, always putting others over ourselves,” she said. “The soft life is quite literally a rejection of the hard life. Life of struggle and sacrifice.” Tenicka Boyd,

Being the Strong Black Woman is so engrained in my culture. It was necessary, in order to endure the everyday living under an unjust system. Though we have come a long way, Black Americans are still fighting for equal rights, and against discrimination. Malcom X said that the Black woman is "the most unprotected, disrespected group in America", and it still holds true today. One example is the wage gap. Black women ride third on the totem pole after white women, and all men. We get paid less for doing the same job, yet, expected to pay the same bills. Nevertheless, we work harder to prove our "worth" to society. And I must say, we do exceedingly well. According to Forbes business magazine, BW own 33% of ALL small businesses in America. And we bring in more money to our community than Black Men. Furthermore, BW are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs than any other group in America. Despite the many blocks stacked against us, we thrive. But at what cost?


Being the poster child of strength has cost us our physical and mental health. In “The Strong Black Woman: How a Myth Endangers the Physical and Mental Health of Black Women,” Golden describes how throughout her life she sought to project an image of “control and strength” in the battle against racism and sexism. But the disguise never allowed for a healthy expression of pain and vulnerability.


Moxie´s 2023 Resolution: Lean Into My Soft Life, living in comfort and low stress. Giving myself grace, without the guilt. Indulge more of my feminine side. In Russia, women living a soft life is not only gratified, but expected. I have picked up a few tips along the way. Here are my top four that I am learning to adopt. Number 1 and 2 I am still finding it quite challenging. More about that in a later blog.

  1. Let go of the need for control.

  2. Be open to receiving.

  3. Remove what no longer serves you.

  4. Joy is a Priority.

I am especially wishing for my Black women a softer, happier life this year. I wish we all stop over achieving to prove our worth to the world. So start dropping the ball, and let somebody else take on more responsibilities. And I wish for ALL Women a life where you no longer feel the need to struggle, or hurt for love. That includes love from men, and love from ourselves.


Do You Have Any Resolutions for 2023

  • 0%Yes

  • 0%No








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